Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
