The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
