At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
