my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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