I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
