Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she looked like the before picture.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
