Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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