"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
NoShamevember. You game?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
