Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
