i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
