guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
