what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
