i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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