Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
