No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
