please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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