If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How external is "for external use only"?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
