Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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