i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
