dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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