Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
