He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
