Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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