I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
