I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
