the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
