but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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