Porn is love you can see.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
