I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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