Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
