I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
