Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
