You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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