fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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