I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
