We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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