He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
