don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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