I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
