I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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