Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
