and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
