Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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