So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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