dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
