happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
