Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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