have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
