if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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