New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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