that's an acceptable place to lick
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
