playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Are my feet made of real feet?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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