tell your sister to shave her snatch
now i know why i became what i already was.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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