When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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