If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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