If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
